Green Hosts

I know there have to be some folks out there who can help me.
Jeez, I have looked for two days (literally) for a reasonable commerce hosting website that offers a shopping cart where your buyers can check out without me having to sign up for a very expensive merchant account. I hate Paypal, too (they’re crooks). I’ve read some really bad reviews about Yahoo’s services so I’m on the fence about them, and they’re not cheap either. Any advice on hosting websites that are reliable and offer checkout without asking for your first-born? Thanks in advance!